The Feeling Of Rejection
by Anna-Kendrick-rocks-my-world
Summary: Faberry story based on real experience. Quinn is in love with Rachel, but when she tells her, she gets rejected. So, basically it's Quinns feelings after being rejected. Well, my feelings, but as Quinn in this story :
1. Just Before

**Hi!**

**This fanfic is from Quinns point of view, and it's about her feelings for Rachel, and how she reacts to being rejected. This story is based on what I myself is going through these days, and this is exactly what happened to me yesterday. Just with the Glee characters. So Quinn is supposed to be me, and Rachel is the girl I love. I thought it might help my heartbreak to write it down for people to read :) And it did. A little... Well, I hope you Enjoy, and here are a few things you need to know:**

**All the Glee kids don't go to McKinley High, they go to a little private school where you all sit around one table, have sofas and computers in the classrooms (because that's where you hang out in the breaks) and you eat in different groups, and get served warm food from a kitchen with a higly trained chef. It's a very high profile private school, and is very luxurious. But it has the same teachers.**

**Quinn has been in love with Rachel for a couple of months, although she is pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way. This chapter is Quinns thoughts on the day she decided to tell Rachel.  
**

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**The Feeling Of Rejection – Chapter 1**

Dear Rachel.

All those years ago you said to me that you wanted to know how I had felt when I had told you about my feelings, and you rejected me. I said I didn't want to tell you. Well, now I think would be a good time, because this is the last time I will get to do so. This is a little something from my diary. It's written the day after.

I sat in the couch of the classroom, and waited for class to start. Some of the other kids in the sofa were talking about all kinds of stuff. I didn't know what, because my mind was too occupied with thinking about you. When would you come? Class started in about 5 minutes, and you were not here yet.

I heard the bell ring, and everyone moved to the table. I waited, just in case you should come in, so I could give you a good morning hug. Some minutes passed, and people said that I should come and sit down. Just as I was about to pull out a chair, the teacher came in, quickly followed by you.

My face lit up when I saw you, and then you looked at me and smiled. My knees went weak, and I smiled back at you.

During class I had a hard time concentrating. How could I when you sat there in front of me, looking absolutely gorgeous? My heart was beating, and I was sweating. I was insanely nervous. I had decided that today was the day I was gonna tell you how I feel. I had been in love with you for a couple of months, and it just got harder and harder every day. You are the first girl I ever fell in love with, and that was hard too. I had talked with my mom about it, and accepted myself. Now I just had to tell you. I couldn't stand that you didn't know. Maybe you felt the same for me? I doubted it.

The German class ended, and we went to have a little break. I really did not understand why we had to learn German. Why not French instead?

You were standing in the hallway, and I walked over to you.

"Hi Rachel" I said sweetly to you.

You looked at me and answered back "Hi Quinn" with a smile. My knees went weak, and my heart pounded harder. I wondered if you had noticed the change in my behaviour since I fell in love with you. Probably not.

We made small talk for some minutes, before you sighed. "I'm bored" you announced. I smiled and said "Let's do something, then."

"But classes start again in 5 minutes" you said, and I thought about what we could do. I got an idea, so I dragged you to the classroom. While we walked, you took my hand, and swung them between us. My stomach started doing flips, but I know you just meant it friendly. I mean, why would you be in love with me? You were so gorgeous, and were always talking about really hot guys and stuff. And I was just a normal girl. Sure, we were friends, but that didn't mean that you could be in love with me. Did it?

When we were in the classroom, you asked me what we were gonna do.

"Come," I said, "there are some science magazines over here. They have really cool snapshots in them."

You looked excited, and we grabbed the magazines from the shelf. We looked through them, laughing and 'ooh'-ing over funny and wild pictures.

At one point you opened a magazine, and your eyes went wide. I watched your reaction, and a few seconds after, you started laughing hysterically. God, how I love that sound.

"What is it?" I asked you, and when you recovered from your laughing, you turned the magazine towards me. Then I started laughing. It was a picture of three goldfish sitting besides each other on the ground of an aquarium, with blown up cheeks. Their cheeks were almost bigger than their bodies. And they looked kinda surprised. It was a hilarious photo.

We decided to hang it up on the walls, and when it was up, we looked proudly at it. Then you turned to me. "We did it!" you said excited, and gave me a high five. We laughed, and sat down on the chairs as the bell rang.

In this class we didn't get to be much together, but I figured that it was a good thing. Then I would have time to prepare myself mentally for what I was gonna do in the big break after lunch.

The class passed quickly, and then it was lunch time. We wouldn't be eating together either, because we weren't in the same eating group. That was good too. More time to prepare myself. Today there was served some kind of rice, with some vegetables and tzatziki. I didn't eat much. It wasn't because it tasted bad, I was just way too nervous to eat. About 30 minutes until I was gonna tell you. I was so nervous, but I didn't back out. I knew it had to be done, or else I would just feel worse. You had to know how I felt, and I had to know how you felt.

We finished eating, and it was time. As I helped carry out some stuff to the kitchen, I saw you on your way back to the classrooms. I wondered if I should stop you know, and say that I wanted to talk to you, but my nerves got the better of me. All I could do was smile at you, and hurry to the kitchen. I figured that I could just get you after I had dropped off the dirty plates in the kitchen.

But when I came back to the classroom, you weren't there. I checked the hallway, some other classrooms, the bathroom, and then our classroom again. You were not to be found.

I started getting nervous. I had to tell you, but if I couldn't find you, I couldn't tell you. Then it dawned on me. The music room! Of course you would be there!

I ran to the music room, and just before I opened the door, I took a shaky breath. And there you were. Sitting on a tall chair, and playing guitar. You were singing too. I smiled at you, and then I saw… Tina. She was there too. I also noticed that a few meters away, Kurt and Mercedes were practicing. Crap. I couldn't just go over and say 'Come with me'. The others would be suspicious. And we weren't even the closest of friends, so I didn't know if you would leave Tina for me.

So I stayed. Waiting, hoping that you would leave, so I could follow you, and ask you to come with me. Eventually, Kurt and Mercedes left, and it was just us three. You and Tina were practicing a song called "A Lifetime" by Hush, and I wanted you to keep on singing forever. The songs lyrics described my feelings perfectly, and I started gaining a little more confidence for what I was about to do. If you ever got away from Tina! After some practicing, Tina suddenly said "Oh! I'll go get Mr. Schue and then we can show him this song! Maybe we can perform it for the school!"

'Yes!' I thought. Finally alone. But then Rachel said "I already showed him Tina. He thinks it's great!" And my heart sank again.

Some more practicing and some more singing later, you finally realized that you had some washing do to. You had been told to wash the football team's shirts, because you had said something to Ms. Sylvester. It was a cruel punishment, so I went after you. We got to the washing room, and you started putting the sweaty shirts in the washing machine.

"Eeew!" you said, you nose scrunched in disgust.

"Here, I'll help you" I offered, and helped her sorting some other stuff that had been washed.

"Tanks Quinn" Rachel smiled at me. It was totally worth doing this, if I just saw Rachel's smile. When we finished you were about to go, before I grabbed your shoulder. 'I can do this' I thought to myself.

"Come on Rachel" I said to her, and started dragging her the other way. She started to protest. It was kinda cute.

"Wait, what? Where are we going? No! What are we doing?" she said panicky. I laughed a little. "Relax Rachel; I just want to talk to you." I said, smiling at her. She tensed a little, but followed.

"Oh no, what have I done?" she asked concerned. "Am I on trouble?"

I laughed again. "Oh Rachel, you haven't done anything. You don't have anything to worry about, that's only me. I just have to tell you something." I said, my voice a little shaky. We went into a little room where no one could hear us, and I stood in front of you. I guess she could sense that something was wrong, because she looked very serious.

"Now remember Rach, I am being very serious here"

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**Cliffhanger! Next chapter will be uploaded in 1-3 days, so stay tuned!**

**Please review so I know that someone is reading. It would make me very happy.**

**Next chapter is where Quinn tells Rachel :)**

**Bye!  
**


	2. Right After

**Hi!**

**Here is chapter 2! I said 1-3 days, and I made it! It's been 3 days! I hope I can keep up this lovely pace, and not let you wait a whole week :) It's still true to the real story, but I think it will be a bit more fiction in next chapter. Not that any of you would care that much I think, but just so you know ;P Please review, because if you don't, I think I'll stop writing. I mean, why write if no one is reading?**

**Enjoy! :)**

**P.S. I forgot a disclaimer in the last chapter, so this is for both chapter 1 and 2:**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own these characters, Glee, 'A Lifetime' by Hush, or Janice Joplin. The only thing I own is the storyline.  
**

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**The Feeling Of Rejection – Chapter 2**

You looked cautiously at me, and said "Okay?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. My heart was beating out of my chest, and my whole body was shaking. I couldn't bear to look at you. Eventually, after some silence, I tried talking to you.

"We're friends, right?" I asked you with a very shaky voice.

"Yes." You answered shortly. You were probably getting concerned now. Oh god, I didn't want you to feel bad about this.

"Well, what I'm about to tell you may make you feel a little…" I tried forcing out the word, "uncomfortable."

You already looked a little uncomfortable. Why did I do this? Why? I hated the look on your face. You looked so worried and concerned. I didn't want you to feel that way.

"Okay" you said again, with a very serious voice. Well, at least you didn't think this was a joke. That's the great thing about you. You know the right times to be serious, and not make fun of everything. Unlike those boys in our class.

"Well," I began. I had to force it out. I couldn't just say 'Wait, nothing anyway'. Now was the time. No matter how much I hated it.

"Lately, I think… I may be having… some uh… feelings. For. You…" I said. My voice was shaking so much that I almost couldn't understand myself. I looked to the side while I said the words. When you didn't answer, I looked at your face again. You looked shocked. I thought that now would be an appropriate time to use the famous 'say something' so I did. You mumbled a little, lost for words, before you said "What kind of feelings?"

I really didn't want to say the words 'I'm in love with you' so I just shrugged. Trying to get across the meaning with my words, without saying anything. I don't think you got it, because you just shrugged back, like 'what?'

I sighed, and tried shrugging again, like 'you know what I mean'. You just shrugged back. It seemed like the only choice I had was to tell you with words. I took a deep breath again, and looked away from your face.

"I am in love… with you"

I glanced quickly at your shocked face, before looking away again. My whole body was shaking, and I felt like I was gonna faint. I could hear my own heart beating in my ears, and I was pretty sure you could hear it too. I tried going on with my speech.

"It wasn't something I had planned, it just happened." I looked at you with a scared face, and for some seconds you just stared at me. Until…

"Aaw Quinn!" you said with a faint smile, and stepped forward hugging me. I was really surprised, but gladly hugged back.

"You are shaking!" you exclaimed, looking concerned at me. I laughed a little laugh, happy that you weren't mad or disgusted.

"Yeah, I've been nervous the whole day, because I planned that today I would tell you" I said. You hugged me again. When we pulled away, you kept me within arm reach, and had your hands on my shoulders. "I'm very flattered Quinn, but-"

"I know. I know" I cut you off. Actually, I didn't know, but it was what I had expected. Also, I just couldn't bear to hear you say it.

You rubbed my back, and asked if I was okay. I didn't think before I answered "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just relieved. Now you know. You still want to be my friend, right?"

You chuckled. "Of course Quinn"

I sighed a relieved sigh, and then remembered. "Oh yeah" I pointed a finger at you "remember, I am not a lesbian" I said, needing to get my point across.

"Okay, you are not" you answered, smiling at me.

We walked out of the room, and back to the classroom. There was a bit of an awkward silence. When we got back, I walked into the other classroom. No one was there, except for a few people. I lay down in the sofa, on my stomach with my head down in the cushions. I was just about to shed a few tears, when the bell rang. I pulled myself together, and went to class. We had biology.

We were separated through the whole hour, and afterwards we had sports. You could either go running, or you could play volleyball. I was gonna go running. The only other people running were Santana, Brittany and some new girl on the Cheerios. It was nice running. It kinda made me forget about what happened 1 hour ago. With Janice Joplin in my earphones, the sun shining and the wind in my hair, I was off to the forest. I ran in 45 minutes, and when I came back, I was exhausted. The new girl, Maddie, I think, had pushed herself too hard, and was feeling bad. I went to go get and apple and some water for her, when I saw you playing volley with the others. I stopped dead in my tracks, and stared at you. The way you moved was mesmerizing. I had to pull myself away, before I started crying. It was getting hard to look at you, because of what had happened.

When school was all done, I took the bus home. No one was home at the moment, so I went into my room, pulled out my laptop, and sat on my bed.

I sat there for an hour or two, and then the computer started boring me. I put it away, and laid down. When you have nothing to do, you start thinking. And that's what I did. I went over the stuff that had happened, and I realized that although I had told you, and that was done and over with, it didn't make me feel better. It actually made me feel worse. You had rejected me. You had said that you didn't feel the same way.

It hit me that you would never be mine. I would never get to kiss you, never get to hold you in my arms and stuff like that. The pain stroke deep in my heart, and I started crying. That's when I heard a knock on my door.

"Quinnie? Are you in there?"

It was my mom. I didn't answer her, so she came in. Damn it!

She saw me on the bed, face down in the pillow. I tried to pretend that I was sleeping, but a sob gave me away.

She walked over and sat on my bed. "Quinnie, what's wrong?" she asked me. I sobbed more, and was in no way able of speaking at the moment. Some minutes passed while I cried and cried and cried, and at last is started to subside. When I was just sniffling, my mom asked again.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I told Rach today" I said, and tears started to run down my cheeks again.

"Oh honey. How did she take it?" my mom asked sympathetically. I started crying again when I thought about it, but it wasn't so much that I couldn't speak.

"S-she took it pre-pretty good a-actually. But it s-still hurts" I sobbed.

My mom rubbed my back gently, and tried to comfort me. "I know honey. Stuff like that does hurt. Really much. But you can't live a life without going through this at least once. You just have to try and be strong, and get through it. It's tough, I remember myself. And it's okay to be sad and cry. And right know, when you are in the middle of it all, it might feel like it'll never get better. But it will, and I promise you that. It might take some time, and I'm sorry to say that there isn't really anything you can do to make it go faster."

Me and my mom had gotten really close after that whole baby gate thing, and her comforting words did help a little.

"It just hu-urts so much to b-be rejected!" I sobbed. Although my mom said it would stop hurting, it sure didn't feel like it.

"I know baby girl. What did she say?"

I tried to answer properly, but I kept hiccupping. "She s-said that s-she was very fla-flattered, but she di-didn't f-f-feel the same w-way" I said between hiccups.

"Aaw honey, I'm sorry. But I am glad that she took it so well," she said "is it okay that I go downstairs and make some dinner? Or do you want me to stay?"

"It's o-okay mom. I'm a little hu-hungry anyway" I answered, and gave her a little smile. She went down and cooked dinner, and I lay in bed and cried for about 30 min. and then it was time for dinner.

I dragged myself down the stairs, my eyes all puffy and red. My mom looked concerned at me, but didn't say anything. I didn't eat much, and when dinner was over, I went up to my room again. There were three things I couldn't stop thinking about, although it hurt like hell to do so.

First: The exact moment I said "I'm in love with you", and your shocked face after that.

Second: When you hugged me and said "I'm very flattered, but-"

Third: You thought I was fine, because I had said so. But how would school be tomorrow? Would I begin to cry the moment I saw you? I was sure it was going to be awful.

That was yesterday.

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**Done with this chapter! I think there might be around 2-3 chapters more, but we'll see how it goes :) And don't forget to review! Come on, you know you want to :P Okay, maybe you don't want to review, but you do want to find out what happens next, and I will only post next chapter if I get at least 3 reviews for this chapter :D I know, I'm a hard one ;P**

**But please, if you write stories here yourself, you know how happy you get when you recieve a review from someone :) Don't you want me to be happy? I know that I want all of you guys to be happy :)**

**Bye!  
**


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